Hairbowzzz and Cuticles!

These days there appears to be an entire industry dedicated to identifying things that, in fact, aren’t original to Lady Gaga. I think most of these purveyors of historical pop culture are simply jealous or threatened by the cultural powerhouse. Jk. Or not.

Here’s my beloved Gagaloo with the hair bow she was know for during a period in 2009.

So what?

Today, dear munchkins, to avoid the to-do list I’d made for myself, or, heaven forbid, do any school-related work, I watched the 2004 film Vanity Fair on Hulu. The viewing mostly served to remind me of how ambivalent I am about Reese Witherspoon and Jonathan Rhys Meyers, but when my interest begin to stray about halfway through* I was saved by the appearance of a hair bow! Some old lady at this fancy party is being mean to poor little Becky Sharp, lording her social pedigree over her purely by the power of the hair bow.

I even took a screenshot for ya. Second person from the right. She’s got more hair bows than she knows what to do with. I’m sure there’s some great line in here about the democratizing of fashion and social class and Gaga, but I’ll let someone with a longer attention span string it together.

I’m going to go play Robot Unicorn Attack while I brush my teeth. I have to play the game because I might get bored just staring in the mirror or at my cuticles.

Moral of the story? Hair bows rule and 90% of films are about as spellbinding as my cuticles.

*My increasing inability to make it through a feature-length film is another conversation for another time. I honestly can barely make it through an hour-long television show without at least playing some games on my iPhone, but during a movie, it’s all I can do to restrain myself from reading a magazine, making a phone call, cooking a three-course meal, etc. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but still. The internet ate my brain and I liked it!


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